It’s a well known fact that we tend to overestimate the benefits of things that don’t serve us – think that extra cookie or glass of vino, whatever your weakness is, and overestimate the cost of things that do serve us well – going for that exercise routine, making that presentation at work.
Carrots and sticks, the ones we chase and we run from – let’s focus on better choices.
Take a weakness that you’ve been ignoring, what price is waiting for you down the road? Time to refocus?
Take a block that you’ve been avoiding, again – what’s the price of continued ignorance? Time to push through the fear and do it anyway?
Ok, action time, stop chasing the carrots and running from the sticks!
Get real about benefits and costs!
TBD, as defined by Ellen Degeneres, is the “Too Busy Disorder”. In our modern day and age, stress is no longer the problem – lack of recovery is the real problem!
What are some of the ways that you can use to recover from the disorder of constantly being too busy?
- going for a walk
- recreation/physical activity
- taking a vacation
- 24-hr technology break (no emails, SMS or phone calls)
Regular intermittent recovery is essential for a return to your best possible self. What are you waiting for?
Have you thought about the origins of the word “coaching” (before coaching was associated with sports)? Originally the coach was a horse-drawn carriage used to transport people from one point to another, an early form of taxi service. And of course the first question the driver asked the passenger before driving anywhere was: “Where do you want to go?” Just like the cab driver, a coach won’t tell you not to go to your desired destination – but they know that there can be different routes to get to there! The coach/driver will therefore ask questions about your preferences, guiding you according to your interests and goals. Our Coach Approach services provide the same role today: to take clients people from one point to another by collaboration, inviting questions and clarifying options.
I don’t know about you but with the stresses and strains of the modern working environment my naturally positively focussed brain has learnt to scan for the danger zone – the ‘negatives’. We are well aware here at The Coach Approach that what you focus on is what you get so how to do a little home-based brain rewiring?
Well, it just so happens that we have a 21-day, 5-point plan at The Coach Approach to do just that!”
Then buy a little note-book/journal and keep on reading…….
- Scan your brain every 24 hours to find one good positive experience – then write it down.(By writing it down you’ll be accessing again those positive emotions.)
- Write down 3 things that you are grateful for – 3 different things every day for the 21 days.
- Exercise daily – wherever you are, from zero to hero – add 10 minutes to show your subconscious that you’re worth it.
- Start a meditation practise, just 3-5 minutes of focussed breathing will help centre yourself in this information over-loaded society we live in.
- Follow the advice of the positive psychologists and do one random act of kindness every day – don’t forget the joy belongs to both the receiver and the giver!
We believe at The Coach Approach that everyone deserves a good day!
How’s yours looking?
In his address to the graduating class at Stanford, the late Apple CEO Steve Jobs wrote:
“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
The Coach Approach specializes in training and coaching with a focus on values. Once your tribe is connected to goals with personal meaning, transformation and success are on their way!
Have you ever noticed how some of the simplest questions can actually provide some of the most transformative answers? Here’s one of our favourite questions which we use with great results: “Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle occurred. When you awake tomorrow, what would be some of the things you would notice that would tell you life had suddenly gotten better?”
Helping clients to imagine that the miracle has already happened has powerful implications about the clients’ need to do something different. As their reflections begin flowing, they frequently describe improvements in detailed, behavioural terms – and they recognize their own involvement in implementing solutions!
We like to follow up with other questions such as: ” What would be the first thing you would do?”; “What would you have to do so that it would happen more often?”; “What else would you be doing differently?”.
What are some of the questions you could use to jump-start positive changes in your life and work?
The American psychologist James Hillman first proposed the “acorn theory” in his book entitled “The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling”. He suggested that every individual already holds their potential inside themselves from birth, just as the acorn already holds the pattern for an oak tree. Each individual’s unique energy becomes actualized through their choices and actions in life once they answer their life calling, much like an acorn turns into an oak tree and matures when it finally blossoms. Without denying the existence of both nature and nurture in human development, let’s look at our own individual achievements, character, and aspirations and ask ourselves: “How am I responding to my inner acorn?”
In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the late Stephen Covey begins with Habit #1: Be Proactive.
“Look at the word responsibility—’response-ability’—the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.”
He goes on to say: “The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and our integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity.”
Think of the goal you would most like to focus upon in the weeks and months to come. What commitment will you make today to manifest your proactivity? How can coaching be a part of ensuring your success?
Working with a client today I realized yet again that, as women, our self-worth is something that is often underestimated, not by other people but – even worse – by ourselves!
Hiring a professional coach can be the fast track way of getting to the root of this issue, rediscover your true worth and claim back your power. For those of you however who, for some reason, are not in a position to do this here are some great self-coaching questions to ponder:
- When (at what specific situations) do you feel really great?
- What are you good at? What makes you a special person?
- What compliments do you receive from others?
- How will your life be different when you develop higher self-esteem? What will it feel like?
- In which areas would you like to develop self-esteem the most?
- How will you do that? Which skills do you need? Who can help you?
- What is it that you will be able to do/be/have when you have higher self-esteem?
- What is your specific goal in raising your self-esteem? How will you measure it and know for sure when you have reached it?
- What action steps can you take to claim that self-worth which is so rightfully yours?
- Who else will benefit by your stepping into confidence and claiming it for yourself?
It’s that time of year again when we have turned the page and are facing our year end schedules. But let’s not think that we’re stuck in this end-of-year drama …
What if, at any time we choose, we could have a clean slate – a brand new beginning? What would you do differently if you gave yourself this gift of a completely fresh start?
This gift is available to every one of us any time we choose to receive it! By letting go of our focus on the past, we choose to practice compassion with ourselves and allow new seeds to emerge. Let’s not carry the weight of the past in the forefront of our minds, but instead consciously give ourselves the gift of a new beginning each morning.