Dr Shelly Gable is someone who knows what she’s talking about!
In a nutshell:
When someone’s telling you a story and you respond ACTIVELY and CONSTRUCTIVELY,
guess what? LOVE and FRIENDSHIP increase.
There are 4 styles of responding to people’s stories:
- ACTIVE, CONSTRUCTIVE (authentic, enthusiastic support)
- PASSIVE, CONSTRUCTIVE (understated support)
- PASSIVE, DESTRUCTIVE (ignoring the story)
- ACTIVE DESTRUCTIVE (pointing out negative aspects)
Your colleague: ‘ Hey, I’ve just been offered a promotion!’
- That’s great, what’s your new position, when do you start…..
- My wife just started a new job at…….
- Bet you’ll have a much heavier workload…….
Get the idea?
So what style will you be using in the office next week?
What would you point to as the achievements that have mattered most to you?
Whar are some of the challenges you have faced?
And how have you handled them?
Who do you admire?
Who inspires you?
What have you learnt from your life experiences that you would like to pass on to others?
A recent post in the Executive’s magazine Business Leadership Management (BLM) states: “Brains? It doesn’t necessarily mean a high IQ. It means curiosity, common sense, wisdom, imagination, and literacy.”
Sounds like a perfect description of coaching, as practiced by our team at The Coach Approach! Bolstered by our innate curiosity, we support our clients in exploring their best outcomes and ways to realize them. The results? A process which fosters deepening awareness of where they are now (common sense); where they want to get to (imagination); and a variety of possible ways to get there (wisdom).
Awareness – acceptance – actions … brain power incorporating emotional intelligence = the best support for your professional development!
In his stimulating book How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Everyday, Michael Gelb writes:
“Great minds ask great questions. The questions that ‘engage our thought’ on a daily basis reflect our life purpose and influence the quality of our lives. By cultivating a Da Vinci-like open, questing frame of mind, we broaden our universe and improve our ability to travel through it.”
He suggests taking one hour to jot down 100 questions that interest you, and then to refine that list to your personal Top Ten. Try it for a powerful way to tap into your “unconscious database” and get a really good sense of what’s important to you in your life – dare to engage in curiosity!!