If the grass looks greener on the other side… Stop staring. Stop comparing. Stop complaining and start watering the grass you’re standing on.
- discover your professional purpose and embark on a career path you are proud of
- take action on your goals and dreams
- pursue what you truly love doing
- learn and apply productive goal achievement strategies that work
- become more productive, efficient and effective
- quit bad habits and revamp your lifestyle
- become more confident and break away from limiting beliefs
- reconnect with your inner self and true genius
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The word “I” is a magnet. If you say “I’m useless”, the vibration of uselessness moves towards you. Chances are, if you ARE useless, it is because you have been saying so for a while.
Challenge: I is a decree to the universe that attracts what comes after it.
Solution: Pay attention to I and I am, and see what you are asking the universe to deliver. Ask your friends and family to listen to your “I” statements and give you feedback. Practice saying “I am….” and fill in the blank. Repetition is one key to manifestation.
There is much power in “I” – so much, that we are often afraid to own what we are saying. We therefore use the collective “you” instead. While speaking first person, it may feel awkward at first it is only from there that we can truly command our power.
Challenge: Many of us dilute our personal power and use the collective “we”. Or, worse yet, we give our credit to someone else.
Solution: Think before you speak, and find a way to use “I” to own your successes, your language, and your actions. Practice shortening your sentences until they become laser sharp. Rather than saying “you” as a generalization, say “I” and own the sentence.
Pioneered by the research of Barbara Frederickson, the theory of “Build-and-Broaden” shows that positive emotions increase the number of potential behavioural options. When this is applied in the workplace, it is clear that focusing upon strengths yields much greater performance and results. At The Coach Approach, we encourage you to heed the advice shared by Peter Drucker:
“Waste as little effort as possible on improving areas of low competence. Concentration should be on areas of high competence and high skill. It takes far more energy and far more work to improve from incompetence to low mediocrity than it takes to improve from first-rate performance to excellence. And yet most people, and equally most teachers and most organisations, try to concentrate on making an incompetent person into a low mediocrity. The energy and resources – and time – should instead go into making a competent person into a star performer.”
‘The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.’ Hubbard
My objective today is to help you fail more, embrace failure – not love it,
YES it hurts but, in many cases
THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO LEARN.
In the words of Tal Beh Shahar, Harvard University professor,
‘We learn to
- walk by falling
- to talk by babbling
- to eat by making a mess
- to colour inside the box by scribbling outside the box’
In the words of Roosevelt,’there is no effort without error…the credit belongs to the man in the arena, it is not the critic who counts’
Live is too short for us to live it any other way!
So let’s fail our way to success:
Where can you dare greatly?
Where do you need to take more risks?
Put yourself on the line and fail your way to success!
Dealing with a difficult colleague this week gave me the opportunity to reflect, question my own contribution and come up with my own personal 6 point plan – allow me to share!
- Be introspective, use the conflict as a chance to learn by taking responsibility
- Don’t be tempted to gossip – sharing quickly becomes toxic
- Get solution focussed,allow yourself 10% on the problem, 90% on the solution
- Speak to the person directly, using ‘I….’& not ‘you….’
- Keep a record just incase it escalates (fortunately not in my case!)
- Grow from the experience
There you have it, with this little check list under your belt and maybe you can even embrace the next challenge with relish!
I don’t know about you but with the stresses and strains of the modern working environment my naturally positively focussed brain has learnt to scan for the danger zone – the ‘negatives’. We are well aware here at The Coach Approach that what you focus on is what you get so how to do a little home-based brain rewiring?
Well, it just so happens that we have a 21-day, 5-point plan at The Coach Approach to do just that!”
Then buy a little note-book/journal and keep on reading…….
- Scan your brain every 24 hours to find one good positive experience – then write it down.(By writing it down you’ll be accessing again those positive emotions.)
- Write down 3 things that you are grateful for – 3 different things every day for the 21 days.
- Exercise daily – wherever you are, from zero to hero – add 10 minutes to show your subconscious that you’re worth it.
- Start a meditation practise, just 3-5 minutes of focussed breathing will help centre yourself in this information over-loaded society we live in.
- Follow the advice of the positive psychologists and do one random act of kindness every day – don’t forget the joy belongs to both the receiver and the giver!
We believe at The Coach Approach that everyone deserves a good day!
How’s yours looking?
Have you ever noticed how some of the simplest questions can actually provide some of the most transformative answers? Here’s one of our favourite questions which we use with great results: “Suppose tonight, while you slept, a miracle occurred. When you awake tomorrow, what would be some of the things you would notice that would tell you life had suddenly gotten better?”
Helping clients to imagine that the miracle has already happened has powerful implications about the clients’ need to do something different. As their reflections begin flowing, they frequently describe improvements in detailed, behavioural terms – and they recognize their own involvement in implementing solutions!
We like to follow up with other questions such as: ” What would be the first thing you would do?”; “What would you have to do so that it would happen more often?”; “What else would you be doing differently?”.
What are some of the questions you could use to jump-start positive changes in your life and work?
Thank you to Valerie for sharing that amazing short video on Well Being in the previous post. Just love the structure, satisfying the conscious mind:
- Positive emotions
That got me thinking, time for the unconscious mind to play…
how can we develop these key areas to make life even more fulfilling?
In other words, how can we build on the best things in life?
How about posing one of these profound questions before you go to sleep and let the unconscious mind work on it, just watch out for the messages as it delivers the results!
Your insights please!