Most of us know our failures personally, on a deep level. But what about if your life has turned out to be bigger, brighter, sparklier than you ever could have imagined? What would make 13-year-old you delighted, if not disbelieving? Maybe you have the job you never thought attainable, you prima ballerina/doctor/patisserie owner/rocket designer you. Maybe you have the greatest partner in the world, or five cats, or a late-discovered but amazing faculty for acquiring new languages. Escribe, por favor.
I don’t know about you but with the stresses and strains of the modern working environment my naturally positively focussed brain has learnt to scan for the danger zone – the ‘negatives’. We are well aware here at The Coach Approach that what you focus on is what you get so how to do a little home-based brain rewiring?
Well, it just so happens that we have a 21-day, 5-point plan at The Coach Approach to do just that!”
Then buy a little note-book/journal and keep on reading…….
- Scan your brain every 24 hours to find one good positive experience – then write it down.(By writing it down you’ll be accessing again those positive emotions.)
- Write down 3 things that you are grateful for – 3 different things every day for the 21 days.
- Exercise daily – wherever you are, from zero to hero – add 10 minutes to show your subconscious that you’re worth it.
- Start a meditation practise, just 3-5 minutes of focussed breathing will help centre yourself in this information over-loaded society we live in.
- Follow the advice of the positive psychologists and do one random act of kindness every day – don’t forget the joy belongs to both the receiver and the giver!
We believe at The Coach Approach that everyone deserves a good day!
How’s yours looking?
It’s that time of year again when we have turned the page and are facing our year end schedules. But let’s not think that we’re stuck in this end-of-year drama …
What if, at any time we choose, we could have a clean slate – a brand new beginning? What would you do differently if you gave yourself this gift of a completely fresh start?
This gift is available to every one of us any time we choose to receive it! By letting go of our focus on the past, we choose to practice compassion with ourselves and allow new seeds to emerge. Let’s not carry the weight of the past in the forefront of our minds, but instead consciously give ourselves the gift of a new beginning each morning.
One of our important tasks as Solution-Focused Coaches is to help our clients expand their awareness of multiple perspectives. Once awareness of limiting beliefs is created, learners are free to define what it is that they really want and the steps to get there. Here’s one example …
Picture for a moment trying to cross a riverbed strewn with large boulders. How do you view them – as annoying obstacles slowing you down? Now imagine the fast-moving water around you as you look far off toward the horizon where you are aiming to go; notice what happens to your perception of the rocks. These same rocks, previously viewed as obstacles can now be seen as stepping stones to help you along the path.
The coaches’ toolbox assists clients in reframing limiting beliefs (“I am a victim of huge obstacles”) and becoming aware of the presence of multiple perspectives (“I could choose to see them as stepping stones”). The meaning of a situation is determined by what we choose to focus on. Changing the frame of an experience can have a major influence on how we perceive, interpret and react to that experience. The choice is up to us: obstacles or stepping stones!
Last month at this point in time many of us were putting the finishing touches on our lists for the New Year, focusing upon goal-setting and trying to implement one step at a time. Now by the middle of February, many people are feeling overwhelmed and fatigued, unable to move ahead on their game plans.
So how about shifting perspective and start making “to be” lists before making “to do” lists? Each morning before beginning your daily activities, you can create your to be list and write down what you wish to express throughout the day. You could choose to be organized and efficient, spontaneous, compassionate, daring, reflective … the sky is the limit, and you hold the power to choose whatever is most appropriate for you in your own context.
After you have committed this to paper, next write down on another list what you wish to do as this person. Not only will this practice help you reconnect with your deeper values, but it will also produce positive emotions and renewed energy.
Going towards our highest ideals is key to maintaining motivation and enjoyment along the path in the journey of self-improvement!
In her “Daily Dream Builder”, Mary Morrissey writes:
“Every single thought we have is either into possibility or into limitation. We can choose thoughts that make things more difficult, such as when we believe that we have to do things solely with our own power.
There’s a story about a boy and his father who were going for a walk when they came upon a great big rock in the middle of the road. The little boy asked his dad, “Do you think I could move that rock if I tried really, really hard?” His dad said to him, “I believe that if you used all your strength you could move that rock just fine.” The little boy got down and pushed his shoulder against that rock –he pushed and pushed and couldn’t move the rock.
Finally, he turned to his dad and said, “You were wrong, I can’t move that rock.” And his father said, “No, son, I said that if you used all your strength you could; because part of your strength is in asking me to help.”
Thinking into limitation means you’ve got to do it all on your own. Thinking into possibility means you can ask for help when it’s needed.”
What is one specific example from your life where you can switch to thinking into possibility?