How to make it work!



Dr Shelly Gable is someone who knows what she’s talking about!

In a nutshell:

When someone’s telling you a story and you respond ACTIVELY and CONSTRUCTIVELY,

guess what? LOVE and FRIENDSHIP increase.

There are 4 styles of responding to people’s stories:

  • ACTIVE, CONSTRUCTIVE (authentic, enthusiastic support)
  • PASSIVE, CONSTRUCTIVE (understated support)
  • PASSIVE, DESTRUCTIVE (ignoring the story)
  • ACTIVE DESTRUCTIVE (pointing out negative aspects)

Your colleague: ‘ Hey, I’ve just been offered a promotion!’


  • That’s great, what’s your new position, when do you start…..
  • Nice!
  • My wife just started a new job at…….
  • Bet you’ll have a much heavier workload…….

Get the idea?

So what style will you be using in the office next week?